[Humor] Hillarious: 2006 Review: Liberation from Civilization Struggle

Original Post Date: 2007-01-10 Time: 00:00:00  Posted By: Jan

[Hi Knorrig,

I love this. We need to do more stuff like this. I haven’t read all of what you posted but the parts I browsed I loved. I must post a note about hundreds of schools to close! We need more of this type of satire. I love it.

Here’s a suggestion for you. If you really want to continue with this. Then compile notes such as you’ve done, but put the full source of each quote (e.g. URL) below each one. Just keep on compiling. If you have enough, put them in an Ms Word document and we turn it into an eBook and sell it on the site.

I would like to urge people to look at compiling info like this. I was trying to compile a “12 Years after Apartheid” to compliment me 10 years after Apartheid” article – which rocked. But… due to time constraints I could not complete it. But we need people to think along these lines and compile “lists”. Its fun, its informative and it kicks ass. Jan]

Hello Jan,

Happy New Year! I put together a few of the IDIOTIC statements (in quote form) in 2006 by those in power in ARSEZANIA, and added a few comments to each.

It’s a lot to read (i.e. facts & figures)… but it’s damn funny and pretty much sums up the sorry state of this African sh*t-hole.

Cheers,

knorrig

2006 Review: The Africa Renaissance & Liberation from Civilization Struggle.

Apart from HIV/Aids, joblessness, crime and poverty, the single biggest threat facing our democracy is growing corruption in both the public and private sectors.

(Blade Nzimande, SACP president, unwittingly summing up the true state of Mandelatopia)

Look at the bitches!

(Golden Miles Bhudu, failed Afro-American and president of the South African Prisoner’s Organisation for Human Rights (Sapohr), who shackled his hands and feet during a Zuma rape trail protest while holding a poster reading 'Jacob Zuma was raped')

What has happened to me is a great injustice…our democratic movement must ensure that what happened to us under apartheid doesn’t happen again. A citizen here should not be removed easily from society and put in a cage.

(Tony Yengeni, ex-ANC Chief Whip and common criminal, after having been convicted of fraud by his own elected peers according to the Azanian constitution he helped draft)

I thought you were a real Xhosa girl. How can you say no to your Chief Whip as if I am an ordinary man?

(Mbulelo Goniwe, another ex-ANC Chief Whip, terrorist and simian pervert, after ANC parliamentary administrative assistant Nomawele Njongo refused to let this monkey in silk mount her after she had helped serve dinner to guests at his home on October 25, 2006).

It is unacceptable that 139 schools nationwide still have a matric pass rate of between 0% en 20%.

(Duncan Hindle, director general of education, finding the best Azanian Newspeak adjective to detract from the fact that his Ministry's performance just made it into the Guinness Book of Records for the first education provider to have managed a perfect 0% pass-rate in a school with 672 pupils)

The best tribute South Africa and India could make to Mahatma Gandhi would be to help establish a world order free of war, want and exploitation.

(Pallo Jordan, Arts and Culture Minister, conveniently neglecting the fact that Gandhi burnt a prodigious amount of vital calories trying to convince Apartheid-era railway officials not to allow kaffirs to ride in his compartment)

I'm very excited!

(Golden Miles Bhudu, failed Afro-American and president of the South African Prisoner’s Organisation for Human Rights (Sapohr), when asked about the ‘go naked' protest action of female black prisoners which was also used in the eighties to protest against the apartheid system)

Lethu Mshini Wami (Give me my machine gun).

(Jacob Zuma, the next President of Mandelatopia, practicing for his African Spear Chucker Idol debut, and showing his innate genius for diplomacy and inter-racial harmony)

Partly as a result, the country has the most open gay community on a continent where homosexuality is usually driven underground and portrayed as un-African – an unwanted legacy of colonialism and white culture.

(A News 24 journalist, blaming millennia-old African homophobia on whitey)

Strange and false discoveries are raising a number of serious concerns……one of these relates to the quality of journalism in our country. The sorry tale told by the Sunday Times’ handling of the EPWP issue points to the reality of a serious national problem.

(Thabo Mbeki, President of Arsezania, overtly telling the media to toe the line when writing about the ANC misgovernment in Mandelatopia)

Blacks invented the art of writing in the form of Egyptian hieroglyphics, which they later modified into a phonetic sign language consisting of 24 word-signs. This knowledge was later spread to the Greeks, who in turn spread this knowledge to the rest of the Western Europe. They then imparted their vast knowledge to most of whom became very famous, such as Plato, Pythagoras, Eudoxes, the mathematician and astronomer, Hippocrates and many others whose work reflected the great and pervasive influence of the black Africans…………… Colonizers then stripped African countries of human and material resources… (which)….ensured that Europeans live a better life and enjoy the good things of life while the countries of Africa were pushed deeper and deeper into the mire of poverty and underdevelopment.

(Thabo Mbeki, rewriting history to underpin his African Renaissance)

There is a strong feeling on the continent that these migrants are not being treated properly.

(Thabo Mbeki, President of Arsezania, criticizing EU countries while failing to mention the horrific treatment of Africans by their own leaders, which causes them to risk all in trying to get away from the human depravity of the Dark Continent to have a chance at a civilized existence in the West)

Some 50 children per day are raped in South Africa as the country struggles with the legacy of apartheid.

(A News24 journalist, blaming the fact that 50 black men rape 50 black children daily in Azania on whitey)

We hope that in appointing a judge, the authorities will be sensitive to some of the issues raised during the Shaik trial and not select a judge with a controversial background.

(Cosatu spokescomrade, showing his respect for the independence of the judiciary in Azania)

We were told blacks would not make good swimmers when we grew up…… The legacy lives on, with up to three children drowning every day in South Africa’s lakes, dams, oceans and private pools.

(Mandla Mdlalose, regional manager for sport and recreation in the Soweto area, blaming whitey when black children drown)

Let me confess I enjoy the cigars, health spa and cognac. Very sophisticated and cultured, you might say……but I can't even slaughter a cow without the SPCA and the police threatening to arrest me. But these rituals are part of what makes me a black.

(Lucas Ntyintyane, AA doctor and research fellow at the Chris Hani-Baragwanath Hospital, longing for the return of the Stone Age to 21-century civilized existence)

Nature has triumphed and shown us that we can transcend national boundaries and that we can create benefits beyond boundaries'….today our wild animals – the elephants, rhino, antelope and many others are once again beginning to roam freely……(it is) the beginning of a new era when we will bring down the colonial fences, which divided our nations over several centuries.

(Thabo Mbeki, President of Azania, failing to mention the devastating impact of crime and over-population of approximately 7 million Zimbabwean refugees his Liberation from Civilization buddy, Robert Mugabe, has forced into Arsezania's 40% unemployment market)

Even when our forefathers were fighting against apartheid, they did not hurt women and children.

(Thabo Mbeki, omitting the fact that one out of every five black men walking the streets of Mandelatopia has raped a woman)

I praise Zimbabwe for its advances and successes in the 25 years since its independence from Britain. Our two countries share a common world view and would march forward shoulder to shoulder.

(Ronnie Kasrils, Intelligence Minister and filthy old school Communist, not mentioning the fact that this African shit-hole has an inflation rate of 1571%, unemployment topping 80% and the fact that Zimboonians have resorted to eating rats in order to survive another day in Mugarbage's African Pride LaLa Paradise)

Tony remains a hero of the struggle and that has not changed. If the court did find him guilty, it does not mean he has to be condemned……the Popcru comrades will also help to look after Tony.

(Boiki Tsedu, Popcru spokesape, commenting on how the Azanian criminal injustice system will look after the welfare of a convicted criminal)

He was the devil personified at the same level that Hitler was, and should be treated as a pariah by peace-loving people……. it is fitting that both him and his time has come to an end. Good riddance.

(COSATU spokescomrade, conveniently omitting the fact that the black population increased by nearly a quarter under PW Botha's reign and that the average South African black was 4 times richer and better off than any other black person in Africa. It is also highly likely that this Marxist spokescomrade got his first-world university degree in one of PW's ‘gas-chamber' jails)

At least now we have … expropriation. Therefore, we will no longer waste time negotiating with people who are not committed to transformation.

(Lulu Xingwana , Minister of Agriculture and Land Affairs, mindlessly intent on creating another Zimbabwean-style famine while urinating on the sterling work done by 34000 white farmers in South Africa who have seen to it that not a single person (out of 40 million) has died of hunger during the 30 years of Apartheid)

During the first 12 years after our first democratic election, I tried to convince everybody inside and outside the country who doubted the new South Africa, that the negative aspects of the transition were only temporarily and superficial coincidences. Today I cannot say that any more………their (South Africa's leaders') first priority is apparently to fill their own pockets and those of family and friends and to abuse their positions, even if they have to step on the victims of murder, rape and violence and telling those who dare protest to shut up or leave.

(Andre Brink, feel-good liberal and prize-winning author, bemoaning his Turd World fate at the hands of his, hitherto, Noble Savage)

Our world today needs art more, not less, than ever before…..it is primarily through the arts that meaning is restored to, and kept alive, in the world…..true freedom of artistic expression resided in the matter of “choice”……..what we are, what our artistic expressions may be, and what our interaction with the arts can lead to, all depends on an act of will, an act of choice.

(Andre Brink, multi-cultural utopian and world-acclaimed liberal idiot, trying to tell us, bla bla Derrida/Hollywood-style, that the appreciation of art will lead an African simian to ‘choose' not to rape his 8-month old daughter)

A new daily English-language newspaper targeting ‘colour-blind' readers too young and busy to care about the legacy of apartheid will be launched in Johannesburg on Monday.

(A News24 journalist, hinting that all newspapers in Mandelatopia have still not perfected the Clintonian art form of performing Noble Savage mass-media fellatio)

The effects of the apartheid government’s Bantu education system was still manifested today in teacher inefficiency and pupil apathy. The system had been designed to make black pupils believe in failure, that they suffer from innate inability, and prepared them for work in the lower levels of the economy. The legacy of this system has had awful consequences for South Africa – some teachers believe they can make little difference, administrators believe they should make little effort, and pupils believe they are destined to fail.

(Naledi Pandor, Education Minister, blaming his ministry's disastrous performance and Africa's Stone Age mentality on whitey)

The legacy of such a corrupt system did not disappear into the night when the white flag was lowered in 1994 and the new South African flag was hoisted. Rather, it had deepened to such an extent that it would necessarily serve to corrupt the new order.

(Geraldine Fraser-Moleketi, minister for public disservice and maladministration, blaming whitey for current Rainbow Nation corruption. She typically neglected the fact that abysmal corruption is endemic to Africa – as can be witnessed by the fact that, for example, her kin in Nigeria siphoned off 6 times more money from state coffers during the past 25 years, than it took Europe to rebuild itself completely after WWII. The fact that 94% of the Eastern Cape's 2005 budget is still unaccounted for, also wasn't mention by this Bla Bla – blame it on apartheid – specialist)

Mpumalanga’s largest industrial city, Witbank, is set to get a new name as part of the government’s bid to rid the province of offensive colonial and apartheid legacy.

(A News24 journalist, conveniently forgetting the fact that Africa had no written language, the wheel or any industry with which to honour their mud&stick Stone Age hovels before whitey came)

We cannot leave transformation to the whims of market forces.

(Makhenkesi Stofile, Minister of Sport, omitting the fact that modern professional sports, just like capitalism, depends on finding the best, in order to be the best. He also forgot to admit that since his ANC professional administrators took over power, all national sports teams in Arsezania have slipped down so far in international rankings that the Vatican's reserve teams will take them on with one both feet strapped to their cassocks)

The ANC extends a message of solidarity and compassion to Tony Yengeni.

(ANC spokessympathiser, on having to send their beloved terrorist& common criminal and Liberation from Civilization buddy, Tony Yengeni, to the ‘white man's cage')

We want to sit down and discuss what to do before 2011 so that you do not embarrass us when we play England, and England looks more like a South African team than South Africa itself…..the French squad which played Wales last weekend was “more cosmopolitan” than the current South African side….it is a scandal when we have a situation where there were nine white and six black players…there must be something wrong … we want a fair reflection.

(Makhenkesi Stofile, Minister of Sport and dim-witted couch potato, conveniently forgetting that the ‘cosmopolitan' French team is one of the top 4 rugby teams in the world with players chosen on merit, not skin color)

Those amongst us who are still hesitant to take part in judicial training must understand that apartheid legacy imposes an obligation on us, to accept [it]…..by and large the judiciary was a product of South Africa's racist past and still contained pockets of racism.

(Seth Nthai, ape-with-a-wig Pretoria advocate, not mentioning the fact that the top 3 black judges in Arsezania recused themselves from Zuma's corruption trail, in fear of being in his bad books when he becomes the next President of Arsezania. It was left to a white judge with no employment future to dispense justice)

International comparisons showed an extremely weak performance by South African pupils, even against much poorer countries with far fewer resources than even those available to African schools under apartheid……nowhere is this performance as bad as in numeracy and mathematics where South African test scores are near the worst in the world.

(Prof Van der Berg, liberal educator, trying to make sense of the fact that less than 3000 of Mandela's 500 000 matric pupils passed higher grade (HG) mathematics and science)

Now, schools are introducing Curriculum 2005, which focuses on outcomes-based education, a teaching method where pupils debate the merits of what they have learnt.

(Claudia Bickford-Smith, a commissioning editor at Oxford University Press in Cape Town and arse-licking liberal, desperately trying to Newspeak away the fact that her much-vaunted postmodern pedagogic methodology achieved exactly as much as the input provided by her pupils, zero)

Although not without its flaws, the new curriculum is the most representive take on South Africa’s history we have ever had…….to understand each other, we have to understand where we came from. History teaches us who we are.

(Elize van Eeden, liberal history professor at the University of Potchefstroom, effectively telling history it must change in order to make blacks feel good about themselves, even though there is nothing in the modern world (except Hip Hop) that could be attributed to the fruits of African intellectual and material labor)

The message these sought to communicate to all business people, both domestic and foreign, is that they should view our efforts to address the legacy of racism in our economy as something inimical to good business.

(Thabo Mbeki, on Sasol’s submission to the New York Stock Exchange in which it defined black empowerment as one of a number of risk factors. Mbeki failed to mention that 70% of all full-controlled and managed BEE ventures failed within the first 2 years)

For us to focus on condoms for school children aged 13 or 14 is not right…..you shouldn’t even have a sleeping partner at 13.

(Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, Health Minister and complete moron, trying to Newspeak away the fact that as many as 33% of all black female school children will most probably fall pregnant before they write their final school exam. She also proposed ‘maternity leave' for these prolific underage breeders)

It encourages a falsehood that could break the fragile spirits of the already disillusioned youth of South Africa.

(Andrew October, Cape Town journalist and top Arsezanian disciple of the ‘trauma industry' of the liberal West)

The Santa Claus myth includes the legend that children who do not get presents from Santa Claus have been naughty during the year. It could conceivably be extremely upsetting for a child who does not receive the requested presents to believe that s/he has been too naughty during the past year.

(The Advertising Standards Authority, upholding Andrew October’s complaint against the advertisement and, thereby, perpetuating the myth that all children can never be ‘naughty' because they are eternally ‘innocent' like the Noble Savages of Mandelatopia)

I don't care if doctors leave the country, because they will all come back.

(Manto Tshabala-Msimang, Health Minister and one of the most unworthy people in history of evolution to have ever had access to free oxygen on this planet, informing her fellow Stone Age voters that the fact that, despite 800 people dying of AIDS/HIV per day, the loss of more than 4 000 doctors who left since 2000 is no cause for concern)

Our efforts to take our education system to the highest levels of quality will continue.

(Kader Asmal, Minister of Miseducation, conveniently forgetting about the 139 black schools that scored a fantastic pass-rate of between 0 and 20%)

Our culture does not allow the rape and abuse of women and children.

(Thabo Mbeki, not mentioning the fact that more than 44 black children and 150 black women are raped per day by black men)

In Gauteng half of our councilors are also female. They always work diligently and perform their duties with great regard of the needs of our citizens.

(Marthinus van Schalkwyk, Environment Minister and despicable traitor of all that the West has built up over the past 350 years in Africa, failing to mention that 1 in 4 black Arsezanian women will indeed fulfill the needs of their simian counterparts, by being raped at least once before they live out their average life-expectancy of 42 years – 6.2 years lower than during the height of Apartheid)

Unashamedly, they pretend these problems, that are many centuries old, could have been solved in a mere 10 years, and that failure to solve them constitutes an avoidable failure of our movement…..the ANC would continue working to eradicate the poverty and under-development still being experienced by the poor, which was the legacy of colonialism and apartheid, and could not be solved in 10 years.

(Thabo Mbeki, failing to mention that, according the UN human development index, Mbeki's Azanians are 40% worse off than during the height (1975) of Apartheid)

The ANC would also work for a heightened contribution to the victory of the African renaissance and the emergence of a just world……this was what the people had voted for, and, as the ANC had done before, it would not disappoint the expectations of the masses.

(Thabo Mbeki, omitting the fact that Africa is the only continent that has grown progressively poorer since the early 70s)

The report also found that lack of public freedoms and equality under the racist apartheid regime which ended in 1994, was often among the causes of in trafficking of children.

(Thabo Mbeki, trying desperately to blame whitey for the completely new phenomenon of child-trafficking in Mandelatopia)

They don’t deserve it because they didn’t die for freedom and human dignity.

(Mongane Wally Serote, CEO of the Freedom Park Foundation, explaining why ex-SADF soldiers who died in the Angolan War will not be honoured, while Cuban soldiers will be. He refrained from telling his fellow former USSSR-backed terrorists that there is no, till this very day, democracy and human dignities in Castro's Cuba. He also failed to mention that is was the ‘evil' white soldiers who helped win the Cold War against those who piss on democracy, the very system that allowed them (the CAFVOAs) to ascend to power in 1994. The fact that the ‘evil' SADF's iron discipline and respect for civilian authority prevented any right-wing coup from taking place in 1994 was also not mentioned by this miserable baboon who should thank every single simian ancestor of his for the fact that the full fury of the mightiest army that ever marched (nukes included) in the history of the Southern Hemisphere was never unleashed upon his and every sorry Cuban/Russian/East German/Chinese ass that ventured into Angola). Fu*k-faces!

A white stereotype of black Africans has turned Zimbabwe and South Africa into one country.

(Thabo Mbeki, playing the race card by trying to blame African depravity on white prejudice)

What is required of us is that we must accept that some within white South African society are convinced that we are savages and that we must do everything in our power to prove that we are not savages, to the satisfaction of white South Africa.

(Thabo Mbeki, speaking the truth for once, but still failing to admit that all the other races also regard Africans as savages)

South Africa is scouring the globe to recover lost works by black artists that depict the turbulent apartheid era in a drive to educate young people about the struggle against white rule…… many paintings were quietly snapped up by foreign diplomats or visitors and spirited out of the country to adorn the walls of homes and boardrooms around the world.

(Pallo Jordan, Culture Minister, trying to convince the world that not only did Picasso steal the ideas of African artists, but that there were also numerous little black Davids, Michelangelos and DaVincis whose immortal masterpieces where sought-after by all discerning art aficionados across the globe)

Africans had a centuries-old inferiority complex instilled by colonialists…..in order to keep themselves at the top of the ladder, and our ancestors at the bottom, colonialists instilled an inferiority complex in Africans…….. most of Haitian bourgeoisie consists of prototypes of mental slaves who are mentally enslaved to neo-colonial masters.

(Jean-Bertrand Aristide, ousted Haitian despot and honoured guest of the Arsezanian misgovernment, using psycho-Marxist babble to blame whitey for Africa's incredible backwardness and the fact that his home country has been the poorest of the poor since independence in 1844)

I repeat, I've never known a person who has died of AIDS….seriously, not once.

(Thabo Mbeki, president of a country where 800 people die of AIDS/HIV per day. Mandela also lost his son to this disease which, according to Mbeki, is not caused by a virus)

Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang is the only person in high office to understand the disparities between western and traditional medicine.

(A South Africans traditional healer& witchdoctor, praising his idiot Minister for placing witchcraft on the same footing as 21-century medicine)

My own views are complex and I really prefer to write them down…..but we can blame it on poverty.

(Nadine Gordimer, feel-good Nobel Laureate and White Guilt councilor, after having been robbed and assaulted by her angelic Noble Savages)

The true greatness of a person is measured by the impact that person has on the lives of others. This statement rings true for the Minister of Health Dr Mantombazana Edmie Tshabalala-Msimang who has touched the lives of many in different ways.

(Official Health Ministry website, praising the moronic minister who kills more people in one day than Swiss motorists dying in accidents over 2 years)

Let’s rather stick to traditional medicine……. garlic has antiviral and antibacterial properties, lemon is a source of selenium and vitamin C and the benefit of beetroot with regard to anaemia is also well documented,” she said.

(Mantombazana Edmie Tshabalala-Msimang, Minister of Health and oxygen thief, elaborating on her antidote for AIDS/HIV that kills 800 people per day in Azania)

It…(showering)…. would minimise the risk of contracting the disease.

(Jacob Zuma, ex-Deputy President and ex-Chairman of the ANC's AIDS/HIV taskforce, giving advice on how to prevent contracting the most deadly disease of the 21st century)

And I said to myself, I know as we grew up in the Zulu culture you don’t leave a woman in that situation (sexual arousal).

(Jacob Zuma, next President of Arsezania and horny ape, giving reasons why he had to mount the HIV positive offspring of an ex-buddy& fellow tree-dweller in the Liberation from Civilization struggle)

We can’t act simply because people are saying they are friends. That means that everywhere we must look at the friendships that people have.

(Charles Nqakula, Unsafety and Insecurity Minister, dismissing suggestions that police commissioner and black Mafioso, Jackie Selebi, must resign over his friendship with businessman Glenn Agliotti, who was arrested for the murder of mining magnate Brett Kebble)

Those who whine about the crime in South Africa can pack up and leave the country……..the future is rosy concerning crime.

(Charles Nqakula, Unsafety and Insecurity Minister, telling law-abiding citizens that living in the crime capital of the world is not such a bad thing, and praising criminals for another year of sterling performance)

Whites are finished.

(Rian Malan, Oprah/White Guilt writer and disillusioned liberal, moaning about the fact that the multi-cultural utopia he dedicated his feel-good life to has become yet another African shit-hole)

These wide-ranging issues reflect the current status of our excellent bilateral relations.

(Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma, Minister of Foreign Affairs, telling the West exactly what Arsezania's relationship is with Iran, a backward dictatorship hell-bent on wiping Israel from the map)

If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America…Because Iraq produces 64 percent of the oil in the world. What Bush wants is to get hold of that oil…They do not care. Is it because the secretary-general of the United Nations is now a black man?

(Nelson Mandela, God of all liberals and paragon of Rousseau's Noble Savage, inferring that Bush invaded Iraq because Kofi Annan is black)

It was fairly straightforward that one of the things we had to do was to seek to establish a moral position. The second was maintaining the morale of our people. Telling our people ‘your cause is a just cause.’ This is, in fact, a moral universe. We’re going to win.

(Desmond Tutu, Nobel Laureate and monkey in silk, forgetting to tell his liberal boot-lickers that more people have died since the ‘just cause' came to fruition in 1994 than all the people who met violent deaths in South Africa during the 20th century)

I wanted to become a doctor, a physician, and I was admitted to medical school, but my family did not have the money for fees. So I ended up becoming a teacher, then priest.

(Desmond Tutu, ape, listing and admitting all the vocational choices he had during the Apartheid era, which he so fondly likens to Nazi gas chamber conditions and genocide)

Ubuntu is very difficult to render into a Western language… It is to say, ‘My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in what is yours.

(Desmond Tutu, tumble-with-the-moral-wind guilt dispenser and ape, failing to explain where ubuntu is when a black man rapes an 8-month old black baby to death)

Africans don't have a retributive sense of justice like the West. We are conciliatory and ask the other how we can both come to an understanding about our past differences

(Thabo Mbeki, failing to explain how the ‘conciliatory justice' of the Hutus in the Congo couldn't prevent the massacre of 900 000 Tutsis in 90 days of unrelenting African horror)

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