University at War With Patriarchy

Original Post Date: 2002-01-07 Time: 21:23:27  Posted By: Jan

This article was written at my request after my young son-in-law related his experiences at the University of Oregon, here in liberal-land (Eugene, Oregon. As Mortimor said to his dilinquent colleague in Dicken’s “Our Mutual Friend,” “sigh…Euguene. Eugene. what am I to do with you.”)

“Up with Patriarchy”

My “Mother-In-Love” and I were scheming up a terrible episode.

We’d print up these bold t-shirts with pro-patriarchy slogans,

drive down to the University of Oregon,

and take a walk down 13th street.

Oh, the satisfaction…

Oh, the danger…

To those of you who have not heard,

the University of Oregon is at war with Patriarchy.

You’ll hear buzzwords (my Mother-in-love calls them ‘weasel-words’because they are so sneaky) such as:

hate-free zone

diversity

culturally sensitive

tolerance

etc.

but that really depends on what you already believe.

If you are a straight, white Christian male,

then “hate-free-zone” means people feel free to hate you.

And mother-earth forbid if you happen to be pro-patriarchy.

I remember taking a class there called “Women’s Studies.”

There were maybe two other guys in the room.

What were we doing there?

Well, I don’t know about them,

but (at the time)

I wholeheartedly believed in the cause of feminism.

My own mother is a wonderful woman,

and I heard that wonderful women like her

were being oppressed and enslaved by something called the patriarchy.

So I signed up for women’s studies, to learn more about it.

And, I was hoping to do something about it.

Well, I learned about it.

I learned that my white male body was the root of all evil!

I also learned that underneath everything that we know or cherish,

is a cosmic female cycle, upholding us;

and this was in spite of the fact that she was constantly being defiled

by all that was male in the world.

Indeed; the idea behind this, and other classes

of it’s kin, is that womenkind has been enslaved by the patriarchy;

that is to say, traditional white Christian males.

Of course, other classes I had taken taught me

that I was also responsible for the enslavement of blacks;

why, then, should I be surprised to find out

that I was also at fault for the oppression, and the suppression of women?

It was like being a straw boss at a union meeting.

My body couldn’t be tuned in to the lunar cycles;

My body was responsible for all violence.

I learned that my male body

was behind all the problems of this world, and the feminists could actually prove it.

Just today I was reading a magazine called

“Natural Home” (earth-inspired-living).

There was this article about an architect

named Sarah Susanka.

“Suddenly, I was filled to overflowing with

an aching sadness…All the souls of the

oppressed feminine energies of millenia

came pouring frth through me into the world.”

Oh, yeh, I thought: this reminds me of the U of O.

Of course, as I read further, I realized why:

we both had the same alma mater.

By the way, did you know that “alma mater” is latin for

“cherishing, or fostering mother”? It’s a CONSPIRACY!

Anyway, time passed, and I met a wonderful young woman who actually liked being a woman. Being feminine didn’t make her mad . Note: feminists are not feminine.

My masculinity did not make her mad.

My occasional lapses in propriety at dinners and tea parties is an exception.

Her whole family wanted women to be women and men to be men.

How confusing at first.. and then,

How refreshing.

How…nice.

I thought they came from a story-book. I thought such women had disappeared with the 1800’s.

After being re-educated by my Mother-in-law,

I am now basically, er, proud (is that okay?) to be a man.

I’M (sweat forming on my brow)

A (shakey hand wiping it off)

MAN (nervous glance around and behind me).

Cnyone who wants an email copy of this can get it by writing to [email protected]

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