[Some of these are not politically correct… I like! Jan]

o I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
o Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!
o Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
o EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.
o If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
o Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
o Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
o My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her… or something like that.
o Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
o Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
o If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
o Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
o If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer.
o You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
o The Earth Is Full – Go Home
o I Have The Body Of A God… Buddha
o This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me
o Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
o If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
o The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name
o Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
o Honk If Anything Falls Off
o Cover Me, I’m Changing Lanes
o He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
o I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
o You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
o I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
o It’s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
o I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
o If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over.. (Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep)
o Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
o If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
o Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
o Boldly Going Nowhere
o Honk If You’ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
o Money Isn’t Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch