[This was published in the Chicago Tribune. It reflects on the damage the war against men has caused. This woman says that men are really easy to please. Jan]

By: Cheryl Lavin

Published August 11, 2006

Let’s hear it for the boys! Today we hear from Dottie, a woman who says the trouble with men-women relationships is — women!

“I married at 17. My darling husband died of cancer a few years ago. I’m now in my early 60s.

“When the first anniversary of his death was near, I was having a particularly bad time and decided that I needed to make new friends with men and women in my situation. I knew that I was still attractive, and a few men at work asked me to let them know when I was ready to date. But I wanted to meet new people.

“I had noticed at work and church that many men in their 40s were sad and lonely, even though they were married. I listened to their wives put them down, and I felt bad for the husbands. I heard many single women complain that there were no decent men out there. I had just buried one decent man, and I felt there were many more decent, caring, loving men. What was wrong with these women?

“I think women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s believe that they are princesses. They’re selfish, peevish fault-finders. I’ve observed the beginning of several romances. The fault-finding starts almost immediately. The men can’t even e-mail to their satisfaction!

“Why is this? Because for decades women have been fed a steady diet of male-bashing. They think it’s all about them. They have bad attitudes. They haven’t been taught to love, respect, honour and appreciate a man. All they see around them are divorces and unhappy relationships. And they blame the men. I don’t see the situation improving anytime soon. How sad.

“On the other hand, I’ve met nothing but quality men. I’m engaged to a tall, handsome, kind, loving, romantic man of 45. He had been divorced for some years and had given up on dating. When we met, he was probably ready to fall in love with the first loving, sweet, playful woman he met. I am that woman.

“His last girlfriend was like the many women that I see daily: unappreciative, unloving and selfish. For example, when she felt overwhelmed, he would ask how he could help. He would fold her children’s clothes, but she found fault with the way he did it. He would load the dishwasher, but it was never to her satisfaction. He would wash her car, but she’d ask why it took him so long.

“Ladies, do you really think that the man in your life (assuming you even have one) is going to do things for you if you find fault? Ask yourself why your husband doesn’t do more for you. Could it be that you always find fault? You hurt him when you do this.

“Greet your husband when he comes home. Yes, I know you work too. Do it anyway. Tell him you love and appreciate him. Yes, I know you work, so do I. Tell him anyway. You do big and little things for your children to surprise them. Do big and little things for your husband. He will love you deeply for it. Take care of your husband. Then, if he dies before you, you will know — and it will comfort you — that you loved him and showed him that you did. I do these things and I believe that is why I, in my 60s, have a darling man of 45 in my life.

“Cheryl, if you print my story, you will have angry replies. Hateful, bitter young women will write you.

“It’s so sad that this is the way it is between the sexes when it doesn’t have to be. Men are really so easy to make happy. If they’re appreciated, they’ll do anything for the women who love them. I know because I had one long, happy loving marriage and I’m going to have another. How sad that many women and men will never have even one.”

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OK! That’s Dottie’s take on the status of male-female relationships in the 21st Century. Do you agree? Disagree? Women, are you willing to take up Dottie’s challenge and follow her suggestions? Send your tale, along with your relationship questions and problems, to [email protected] or Cheryl Lavin, Tales From the Front, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Please include day and evening phone numbers. Letters may be used in whole or in part and become the property of the column. Read Tales From the Front Monday, Wednesday and Friday in Tempo.

Copyright (194)Â 2006, Chicago Tribune