[I spotted this on Uncyclopedia and had a good laugh. Jan]

Nelson Mandela 1918 – present. South African Naval leader. Although best known outside of South Africa for his daring attack on the Spanish colony of Puerto Puta in 1954 and for capturing the Canadian Treasure Fleet in 1965, Admiral Mandela is also respected in South Africa for his political achievements.

Admiral Nelson Mandela on the deck of his flagship. Contents:-
1 Early Years
2 War With Germany
3 Political Career
4 War With Spain
5 Sickness
6 War With Canada
7 President
8 Mexican Flag
9 1001 Neat and Completely True Facts About Nelson Mandela

Early Years
As a child, Mandela wanted to become a lawyer, however South Africa’s racist Apartheid system required all black people to become either naval officers or backing singers for Paul Simon. Mandela chose the former, becoming a midshipman on the HMSAS Scurvy at the age of fourteen. Conditions were hard on South African ships in those days, and many sailors suffered from such horrible afflictions as lumbago or tennis elbow. Mandela was no exception, and he was diagnosed with housemaid’s knee shortly after passing for lieutenant. This horrible affliction effectively immobilised Nelson and it was not until Sir Bob Geldof brought his plight to the attention of the masses in May 643BC that the FREE Nelson Mandela campaign was born. But just you try going to your local supermarket and asking for a free Nelson Mandela, and they look at you as if you’re mad. It’s much the same as asking for a free range-egg. Nobody in their right might would give away range-eggs, would they? And that queue of nuns at the cinema waiting for a free willy must have been mad or just plain desperate. They went away frustrated.

… There is much more at the link below…

URL: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Mandela/p>