WARNING: This is Version 1 of my old archive, so Photos will NOT work and many links will NOT work. But you can find articles by searching on the Titles. There is a lot of information in this archive. Use the SEARCH BAR at the top right. Prior to December 2012; I was a pro-Christian type of Conservative. I was unaware of the mass of Jewish lies in history, especially the lies regarding WW2 and Hitler. So in here you will find pro-Jewish and pro-Israel material. I was definitely WRONG about the Boeremag and Janusz Walus. They were for real.
Original Post Date: 2002-11-04 Posted By: Jan
From the News Archives of: WWW.AfricanCrisis.Org
Date & Time Posted: 11/4/2002 11:03:49 PM
New Zimbabwean Economic Theory Applauded
[There is still humour even in the midst of a huge disaster. I heard from some Zimbabweans today that fuel in Zimbabwe is about to skyrocket from Z$75 per litre to over Z$550 per litre. This should send inflation out into space! Jan]
A new economic theory has been developed in a troubled central African country where analysts say it will revolutionise development and fuel a new world order. The theory, touched upon by the troubled central African country’s most equal of all comrades, sees goods being bought with foreign currency obtained at outrageous prices, then sold at an enormous loss to the public. “This means that businesses will go broke and not the government,” said a clearly uncertain spokesman from the troubled central African country’s economics ministry. First to be affected by the revolutionary economic theory, said to be the finest since Karl Marx sent over half of Europe into bankruptcy, will be multinational fuel companies. They must now import their own fuel, said the most equal of all comrades. Fuel company executives scratched their heads and asked how they were to do this when the troubled central African nation’s corrupt and bankrupt oil procurer had a monopoly on petrol imports. “That’s the beauty of the beauty of the scheme,” said someone from the economics ministry. “If we tell them to import it and they can’t, then we can blame them and their imperialist bosses for any fuel shortages that occur.”
Still, a fuel executive said that if the most equal of all comrades thought oil companies were going to import fuel at, say, 50 US cents a litre and sell it at 5c, then clearly the most equal of all comrades was using a calculator made in North Korea. “If we can’t sell it at a profit, then we won’t sell it,” said the oil executive. The oil executive’s statement was dismissed as treasonable rubbish by the troubled central African country’s disinformation department. “It’s obvious that these imperialist saboteurs haven’t grasped the fundamentals of the most equal of all comrade’s genius revolutionary thinking,” said a functionary reading a prepared script, without saying how the genius revolutionary thinking would transform the economy. But he did say it would transform the government’s economy because it would no longer have to subsidise the price of fuel. When asked whether fuel would be sold at world prices or whether oil companies were expected to run at massive losses, the functionary said imperialist profiteering would not be allowed and prices would be vigilantly monitored by revolutionary cadres from the Zany Party.
“Until such time as we own all the fuel companies there will be no profiteering. After that prices may rise because the fuel companies will belong to the people and they will be buying the fuel from themselves,” he said, adding that this was where the revolutionary bit came in. The idea was so simple that it was pure genius, he went on to say. “It’s much the same as with the farms. Now that the people own all the farms, they can blame only themselves if food costs too much or if, as is more likely, there is no food.” When it was pointed out that only members of the Zany party owned farms, the functionary said that only members of the Zany party could be classified as people. “The rest are subversives, imperialists and puppets of the west,” he said, “and they should go and live with their colonialist puppeteers in those foreign places where such people are tolerated.” Meanwhile, an economist who was not a member of the Zany party advocated mass hoarding of fuel because it was unlikely there’d be much to go around for some time to come. “All I can say is buy now while stocks last, because in the realms of weird economics, this has to be the weirdest I’ve ever encountered, even here,” he said.
Source:Zimbabwe Standard
Published:Sun 3-Nov-2002
Author: Brian Latham
URL: http://www.zwnews.com/issuefull.cfm?ArticleID…br>