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Political Humour: Your imminent demise…

WARNING: This is Version 1 of my old archive, so Photos will NOT work and many links will NOT work. But you can find articles by searching on the Titles. There is a lot of information in this archive. Use the SEARCH BAR at the top right. Prior to December 2012; I was a pro-Christian type of Conservative. I was unaware of the mass of Jewish lies in history, especially the lies regarding WW2 and Hitler. So in here you will find pro-Jewish and pro-Israel material. I was definitely WRONG about the Boeremag and Janusz Walus. They were for real.

Original Post Date: 2001-08-23  Posted By: Jan

From the News Archives of: WWW.AfricanCrisis.Org
Date & Time Posted: 8/23/2001 11:29:25 AM
Political Humour: Your imminent demise…

Mr. Kennedy,

I have never written a letter like this, and so you will receive the
very first of its kind.

When I heard of your imminent demise I was compelled to write and tell
you how ecstatic I am. It vindicates the very concept of death.

Consider this coincidence. It’s truly one in a million (or maybe my
psychic abilities simply came out.) I was standing in a supermarket
line when my thoughts were seized by the most graphic image of Barnett
Slepian lying on his kitchen floor in a pool of his vital juices only
moments after that fateful bullet ended his baby butchering career.

I thought, “God in Heaven, what a beautiful thing death can be
sometime. If only every baby butcher could be struck down at one time–I
would consider my life fulfilled just by hearing the words about it.”

I was regaling in my private thoughts regarding Slepian, supercharged
with delight, smiling the largest Cheshire Cat smile you can imagine,
fantasizing about mountains of baby butchers piled up in the same
condition, when my gaze fell upon one of the tabloid pages and there
was the headline: “TED KENNEDY DYING!”

My cup literally ranneth over. I nearly swooned.

Tabloid news is such mental swill that the most I have ever been able
to do is glance at the headlines as I pass and laugh at what fools mortals
be. I would be as ashamed to be seen purchasing a tabloid rag as I would
buying a package of cigarettes (if I was weak willed enough to be hooked
on either of them, that is.) However, on this occasion, it was such a
once-in-a-lifetime moment, I later talked a friend into purchasing the
very tabloid rag I saw that made me so ecstatic. I still could not bring
myself to being seen buying the thing, but my friend does not have so much
self-respect. He behaved as though it made no difference to him.

I will enshrine this copy of a despicable tabloid rag in a very
expensive frame. Isn’t it amazing what weird bedfellows and philosophies
can exist in times of war? I would not possess your photograph if I was
paid a million dollars, nor would I be seen buying a tabloid rag, as the
most I can stand to do is laugh at the headlines in passing–however, this
particular combination has driven me to enshrine both. Interesting, isn’t
it?

After your, er, uh, final moments (dang, that was hard to spit out),
and you are where you belong, I have a last request to ask of you. Will
you please tell the devil that Bob Lokey said to lighten up a little bit.
Tell him that I suggest he take a vacation for a while. He already has
the soul of every liberal Democrat and ninety-nine percent of the
conservative Republicans. They are so indistinguishable that I have had
to coin a new term: “Conserliberal Republicrat.” I hate to coin new terms
and I do wish you folks had kept some sort of lines between you so I would
have been spared the intellectual striving it required to come up with
something that fit so well.

Also, since you will be there anyway and it ought not be any tougher to
deliver just a few more words for me, would you tell the devil that he
should quit trying to take me in. I am too smart to fall for the same
things Conserliberal Republicrats get in long lines to fall for. Surely
the devil ought to know this by now.

Bob Lokey